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32 • The Optimist
A little boy walked down the aisle at a wedding. As he made his way to the front, he would take two steps, then stop, and turn to the crowd, alternating between the bride's side and the groom's side. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went-step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR-all the way down the aisle.
The crowd was near tears from laughing so hard. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing and he was near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed back his tears and said, "I was being the ring bear."
Two boys camping out in a backyard wanted to know the
time, so they began singing at the top of their voices. Eventually one of the neighbors threw open his window and shouted down at them, "Hey, stop that racket! It's three o'clock in the morning!"
A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three-year-old girl in her cart. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her "no." The little girl immediately began to whine and the mother said quietly, "Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't be upset. It won't be long."
He passed the mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There,
there, Ellen, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out."
The man happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased. The mother patiently said, "Ellen, we'll be through this check-out stand in fve minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap."
The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen..."
The mother broke in, "My little girl's name is Tammy. I'm Ellen."
Summer2014 Magazine.indd 32 5/27/14 6:01 PM